Sure you can Google what BDSM means and it’ll tell you that the acronym stands for bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism; but everyone’s relationship to BDSM and kink is their own. A combination of unique experiences that builds a deep connection with others, shaping, healing and learning oneself. BDSM fulfills a part of oneself that is missing or lacking, participating in BDSM acts can motivate and push one to become a better person and be held accountable for one’s actions. These are just some things of what BDSM may mean to others.

I cannot speak of others experiences, but I can speak of my own. So get your popcorn and booties ready as I share what BDSM means to Mae (me – laugh at my puns). Let’s start with what humans want. Sure everyone’s goals and desires may differ, but in the end of the day we want connection. A true, authentic connection with which our hearts swell with joy. A connection be it: physical, mental or even spiritual, when it is there, there is a frequency that vibrates and harmonizes with one’s soul. When you truly connect with someone, there’s a feeling of ecstasy, a high that makes one giddy. Now, aren’t we all here to find that happiness? Whether it be pleasure by the sacrifice from a sub or being happy that one is useful to someone superior. Let’s dive deeper as to how one can be happy from BDSM practices.

Physical BDSM

In a world that is so fast paced, where everything is constantly on a time crunch – a simple hand on the shoulder could calm someone down. Now set an intentional timeframe for which you will explore different types of touch with a person’s body. Suddenly it seems as if one could manipulate time making it freeze, stand still or speed up. The dominant, now a time lord. The power of being present, in the moment whether it be in bondage or feeling the strike of a cane every thirty seconds, you are there in your body – feeling connected with yourself and the other person you are experiencing this with. Different touches/textures, smells, tastes, sounds all added together to stimulate your body in such an intense manner that it shocks your system – jolting it awake.

mae ling wartenberg pinwheel

Mental BDSM and Mindfuckery

A lot of people think the B in BDSM stands for bondage and the average person that has little exposure to it believes it is heavy bondage with chains and crazy locks everywhere. While it can be fun to get all gear heady about these things and use super unique custom made toys, I simply enjoy the quickest method – mental bondage. If you are unable to capture your sub, prey, play toy’s mind then all the chains and locks won’t do a damn thing. A person’s mind is a vast place, thoughts traveling at lightning speed in every direction and yet when someone kneels before me – something changes and I can see the look on their face where they change from a hectic mess to a silent blank focused canvas. That is the first step in bondage and in BDSM itself. You can do any kink or erotic practice with high level skills and technique and if the other person isn’t under your spell well then they were already free to begin with – no amount of locks is going to change that.

If you do not capture the submissive mind, then the lack of power bleeds over to an awkward dance of confusion and what I believe isn’t BDSM but just two people doing things to each other. The power, the rush the absolute control of capturing a mind is the most necessary in order to move towards total power exchange. But we won’t go there now. If there is no mental bondage and connection, a person will not believe you, a person will not trust you and most definitely will not surrender to you.  And when it does work, the mental mindfuckery of it all is all so sweet. Now, every word becomes sharp like a knife. She wields the most powerful tool in between her sweet luscious lips, edge play. Turning a brain into mush, a body into a puddle is what BDSM results in.

Spiritual BDSM

No, we aren’t getting into religion play here and the blasphemy of sin. In order for a Domme/sub dynamic or a play scene to succeed, I believe there needs to be a spiritual connection. A connection where the people understand each other. A simple and easy connection that is organic, not forced. Just having a similar interest/kink/fetish doesn’t mean the two people are a right fit. There is more to it, can you make me laugh, will you laugh at my puns, do you understand that putting my pleasure comes first? If a person can connect with me in a non kinky manner, then I can see the connection with kink becoming way more intense.

The sub must first respect and look up to the Domme; the Domme inspires and uplifts the sub. The sub feels as though they/he/she is in the presence of a true Goddess. The worship, the rituals, the sacrifice and mantras all feed into the authenticity of BDSM.

BDSM has allowed me to connect with multiple people, sharing my passion through my work, and has helped me learn and grow as a person. It has allowed a lifestyle where I can do what I love with people I choose. I shape my life so that it pleases me, creating my own reality where those that I surround myself with are useful, and are happy to be of use to me. Sure there is bondage, domination, submission and sadomasochism involved but just like the infinite amounts of ways to play, there are infinite amounts of ways for me to connect and be happy.

 

Indulging in BDSM

Do you think we’d connect well together? Do you have what it takes to please me? Book a session with me here or you can chat with me to see if we’re a good fit here. Watch my clips here to get a sense of my domination style.