We’ve all had it happen, unless you’re perfect and nobody is perfect…nobody. Something happened during the scene and it’s not what you had planned for or even wanted or intended to occur. So what now? End the scene and give in to it? Admit defeat like a sore loser? Throw a tantrum? Ignore it like it never happened? Side step awkwardly and laugh at some stupid joke to divert the attention elsewhere? Let’s regain your footing and power here and keep things hot and spicy when a kink is thrown into your kinky situation. Follow these five steps to remain your kinky top self.
Step One – Breathe in the Kink, Breathe Out the Kink
Pause, breathe. Inhale and exhale. Pretty easy right? Breathing allows you to think clearly, giving you time to focus on what your next moves are. Reset yourself. We are often quick to react to things that happen to us. Sometimes the reaction may be negative. That quick flustered reaction will seep into the submissive’s mind, incepting them to think that whatever had occurred was a bad thing. Instead of reacting, take back control of the situation and make it your bitch. Master your mind and your emotions. You are the top here, not this kink in your scene – show it who’s boss. Which in turn truly shows the submissive who the boss is, as nothing will ever get in your way of what you want; not even this kink.
Step Two – Own the Kink
Own it, acknowledge it and be proud of it. We are all human and things occur. It’s how we recover from them that makes us Masters, Mistresses, Gods, Goddesses, Sirs, Doms, Dommes, Daddies, Mommies and whatever honorific you call yourself. It happened, we were all there for it, so use it to your advantage. State the obvious and then you can do whatever you wish with it now because it is now incorporated into the scene. “Oh, I see the lock broke.” “Oh, were you expecting guests?” “Oh, your nipples must have offended my clips because they’ve successfully jumped off of your filthy body.” The choice to include the shocked “Oh” is entirely up to you. Allow this new opportunity to give you a different perspective, a change in course and a break from what you were doing.
Step Three – Use the Kink
Now that we’re all back on the same page again, use it. Did something drop where it was meant to be held in? Now you have an opportunity to use the item that has dropped in a different manner – perhaps in a predicament. Drop it again and they get punished! Did your bondage become undone? Change their position into something else and give them a break. Did housekeeping knock on the door? Get into their head about how exposed they’ll be to the strangers behind the door. Wrap it into the scene. Better yet, truly get into their heads and do a bit of gas lighting. Make it so that it is the sub’s fault. Blame them for something so ridiculous that it offends you and use it as funishment. Nobody would have known that this would have happened, but blaming it on the sub sure does sound like a lot of fun. Do NOT actually gas light your submissives outside of dedicated playtime, this is used as sarcasm and for fun. The beauty and elegance of being inspired by your surroundings and pivoting on any action is what makes for a good session, a great session.
Step Four – Sink the Kink
All right, you’ve had your fun with it. It was great and hilarious, but with all good things it is important to know that too much of something can ruin it. Let the kink go. You may allude back to it a couple times throughout the session but don’t make it the whole focus that you forgot what you truly wanted to do. Be a master seamstress and weave it into the scene effortlessly and continue your masterpiece. There are accidents that occur while painting and being able to blend it in without anyone knowing that it wasn’t planned is what you are doing. Putting on eyeliner and it got out of line? Just make it thicker and bolder and now you’re the fiercest bitch there is. Suddenly the kink was intentional and sporadically beautiful.
Step Five – Laugh at the Kink
The scene has ended, everyone is exhausted and it is time to bring everyone back to a meditative state of normalcy. Did your sub not fully understand what the kink (hiccup in the scene) was? Feel free to share with them. Does your sub have questions about how the kink came to be? Be honest and transparent or craft up another fantasy – they aren’t privy to such magical knowledge. Feel free to let your imagination roam wild with the kink painting a picture that shows you as the reverent being that you truly are. Incept that submissive brain and shape it into whatever you want using whatever just happened. Everyone knew what happened? Laugh at it, learn from it or even make it a theme for the next scene.
Example of How to Pivot in a Kink Scene
Let’s see this in action and take a look at a seemingly typical kink in scene below:
Blindfolds come off the submissive’s eyes while they are bound and couldn’t have possibly use their hands.
Top notices blindfold came off the eyes and submissive is looking right at them.
Top, pause – take a breath and recompose yourself. Smirk.
Top: “Oh, did you just disobey me and pull that blindfold off? How dare you look at me, were you given permission to stare at my Godly figure?”
Submissive: “No, I didn’t pull it off. I’m sorry (input honorific + Top’s name).”
Top: “Oh, so some invisible kinky perv is here in this room that’s helping you then hm? And, you keep staring at me. Guess I’ll have to use something that works better than this.”
Top shoves blindfold into submissive’s mouth gagging them and sits on their face.
Top: “Can you see me now? How’s the view since you love staring so much? You should ask your kinky invisible friend to assist you with a hand down there too, maybe you’ll actually get to cum since you’ve been denied for so long. Or maybe your invisible friend will deny you as well.”
Top bounces up and down on the submissive’s face playing with their field of vision until submissive closes eyes from being tired out and is commanded to keep them closed for their own good.
Experience a Kink Scene
Whether you are new to kink or a seasoned kinkster, you can experience with a professional. Go here to apply to serve Miss Mae Ling. This post was written for Darkside Magazine. You can find it in issue 39.